Sleepless Nights
by detective-giggles
Summary: Someone from High School is in town and calls Alex. What happens when she meets him and is assaulted? After a long hiatus, chapter 4 is up!
1. Prologue

Title: Sleepless Nights

Author: Detective Giggles

Rating: We'll go with M; it might be too much, but better safe than sorry… I don't like to be yelled at.

Pairing: Nothing definite, I'm thinking Olivia/Alex. Just fair warning. If it's not A/O, there won't be a relationship mentioned.

Summary: An old friend is in town and looks up our favorite ADA.

A/N: Okay, my first try writing in FOREVER. And possibly my last, considering this is the summer before my junior year in college and I've just decided to double major in criminal justice and psychology! Please be kind. Reviews make me smile! Especially if you think you might want to see more, I need reviews so I know I'm not wasting my time!

PROLOGUE:

"Um," Alex looked at her calendar, slightly flustered. Olivia and Elliot were sitting in her office looking annoyed. Amused and annoyed, "I have court tomorrow. I can meet you for dinner. Tonight. About 8ish." Olivia and Elliot exchanged glances as Alex confirmed a location and then set her phone down.

"Who was that?" Elliot wondered.

"Oh, um, just a guy from high school. He dated my best friend through school and then they broke up right before college. I haven't heard from him in years," Alex shrugged, "of course, that was probably a good thing. He was dating my best friend, but he was slightly obsessed with me."

"Slightly?" Olivia asked.

"He was head over heels," she admitted with a grin.

"Did he just randomly look you up?" Elliot asked, "'cause that's really weird."

"No, he's in town on business," Alex replied. She grabbed a file folder off her desk. "This is for you guys, sorry for making you sit here so long."

"It's okay," Elliot assured her, taking the file. "And we will see you tomorrow."

"Have fun on your date," Olivia teased as she and Elliot stood up and headed for the door.

"Trust me, it's _not_ a date," Alex called with a wink to the female detective, "he's not my type."


	2. Chapter One

A/N: I thought I better give you guys something else to read, other than that crappy prologue. Please Review.

Chapter One

Fin and Elliot stepped through the open door. There were a few uniformed officers wandering the apartment. "What do we have?" Elliot asked holding out his badge.

"White female, mid-thirties. Neighbors heard yelling; called it in. They were worried; apparently our victim isn't a trouble-maker. She said she was assaulted. Asked for you two by name."

"Who is she?" Fin asked as he exchanged a glance with his fellow detective.

The officer led them to the doorway to the master bedroom, "Your ADA," he replied. Elliot stood blocking the doorway for a minute. Alex was on her bed, curled into a ball. Two male paramedics were talking softly, but the attorney didn't move.

Elliot exchanged another glance with Fin before they walked into the room. "Alex?" Elliot called softly, "Hon, wanna tell me what happened?"

"He raped me," she said softly.

Elliot let out a little sigh, "Okay. Come on, let's get you to the hospital." Alex nodded and allowed the paramedics to help her onto the stretcher. Elliot turned to Fin, "Get CSU in here. Then meet me at the hospital and we'll get the rape kit to Warner. I'm going to ride with her." Fin nodded and grabbed his walkie-talkie as Elliot followed Alex to the ambulance.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Elliot paced near the door as he waited for Alex finish answering questions about her attack.

"Elliot, sit down!" Alex finally ordered. Elliot paused and apologized as he leaned against the wall.

Alex went back to staring at her hands, which were folded across her lap. Elliot gave her

another quick glance before resolutely staring at the wall ahead of him.

The nurse gave Alex a sympathetic look, "I know this isn't easy, but you're going to have to tell me more."

"I know it's not easy. I make women talk about it every day," there was no anger in Alex's voice. Instead, it was the total opposite: flat and dull.

"Alex-" Elliot began. The ADA turned to him.

"I'm fine." Turning to the nurse she asked, "What else do you need to know?"

Before the nurse could answer, Elliot's phone gave an impatient ring. He grabbed it and apologized before heading into the hall. "Stabler," he listened for a minute and then nodded, even though the caller couldn't see his response. "Okay, captain. I will. We'll be there in about an hour; I'll get her statement then." He listened again, "Yeah… okay. Look, I gotta get back in there with her. No! Don't call Olivia… I'll do it before we head in… Yeah, I'm sure. This is something she'll want to hear from me… I will… Okay… See ya then." He quickly turned his phone off and then headed back into the exam room.

He paused at the doorway and watched as the nurse began to take samples from underneath Alex's fingernails. "You can come in," Alex called, and Elliot hurried up to her.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm fine."

"Really, Alex?" he looked at her, a mixture of sympathy and disbelief played across his face.

"Elliot, I'm fine, okay? I just want to go home and go to sleep."

Elliot gave her a sympathetic smile, "CSU won't be done for a while. Plus, I don't want you going home alone tonight," Alex gave a little groan; the first emotion he had seen from her all night.

"Elliot-"

"Alex, we'll talk about your sleeping arrangements later. Let's just get through the rest of tonight, one step at a time. Okay?"

"Okay," Alex nodded amiably.

"Detective," the nurse called, "Will you help me with the photographs?"

"Of course," Elliot removed his jacket and donned a pair of latex gloves. Although he had seen his partner do this many times; it was the first time he had been more than just a silent observer. As Elliot helped with the photos, he let out a little sigh.

"You okay, Elliot?" Alex asked.

"Huh? Yeah," Elliot answered Alex's rhetorical question.

"Okay, Alexandra. We're almost done. We just have the pelvic exam left, okay?"

"Yippee," she muttered.

"Do you want me to stay?" he asked as Alex leaned back onto the table.

"What?" the detective's question caught her off guard.

"Well, I don't want to stay if it will make you uncomfortable," he said.

"Then leave."

"But I don't want to leave if, deep down, you want me to stay."

"Then stay."

"Alex-"

"Look, detective, I really don't care. Stay, don't stay; I'm fine either way," Alex said.

"Alex, I..."

"Detective! I'm going to kick you out if you don't stop agitating my patient!" the nurse reprimanded him.

Elliot shook his head, "She's clearly not agitated," he muttered at Alex's calm demeanor, "I'm trying to determine what's best for her right now!" he snapped.

"That's not my point! She's been very cooperative, and I need her to stay calm. I don't want you making her angry now!"

"Elliot, please," Alex murmured, "Just let it go."

"Sorry, Alex," Elliot reached for her hand and, after a minute, Alex grabbed it.

"Are you ready, Alexandra?" the nurse asked, her hand on Alex's knee. After a minute, the blonde nodded, "Okay, I'll let you know what I'm doing at all times. No surprises, I promise," she said kindly. Alex nodded again and the nurse disappeared from her view.

Elliot watched Alex's face, which remained devoid of any emotion. She closed her eyes and gave Elliot's hand a little squeeze. A silent thank-you.

"Alright, we're done," the nurse said after a few minutes. Elliot helped Alex sit up and then gently rubbed the small of her back, unsure if that was too much or not enough comfort.

"Detective, I need to talk to her alone for a minute. She'll meet you outside when she's dressed."

"Okay," Elliot gave Alex's hand one last squeeze before he left the room.


	3. Chapter Two

A/N: Thanks for sticking with me! Sorry it's taken me so long, but I'm taking a summer class and my teacher is assigning SO much work! I only have 3 more weeks though! Yay! Thank I'll be able to post more! Please review! Oh, and I did decide to make this Alex/Olivia. I can't seem to get this pairing out of my mind!

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Oh, God. Elliot," Olivia hurried up to him, "how is she?"

"When did you get here? Did Cragen call you?"

"No. Fin. He thought I should know. He knew she wouldn't tell me on her own. Stubborn," tears of worry filled her brown eyes and Elliot embraced his partner.

"She's fine," Elliot said, "Possibly too fine."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Through the entire exam. No emotions," Elliot shook his head, "I've never seen that." Elliot thought for a minute and shrugged.

Olivia sighed, "That's Alex for you. I'll talk to her."

"Look, Olivia, give her some time. You can't help her with this. She specifically asked for me and Fin; I'm sure she just didn't want you to worry about her."

"Of course I'm worried, Elliot!"

"I know, Liv, you trust me, right?" Elliot asked.

"With my life," Olivia admitted.

"Okay. You know I would be completely honest with you, right? If something was seriously wrong; I'd tell you. But this is something she needs to tell you, when she's ready. She probably didn't want you to see her like that. Look, while she's still cooperating, I'm going to take her down to the squad room and get her statement. Sit at your desk and pretend to do paperwork," Elliot suggested.

"Fine," Olivia turned and took a few steps, "Hey, El?"

"Yeah?" he called as the door to the exam room opened slowly.

"Take care of her for me," Olivia said softly before turning down the hallway.

"I promise," he said softly, although Olivia wasn't around to hear him. He hurried over to Alex, "You ready?"

"Uh huh," she murmured, her long blonde hair was pulled into a fresh ponytail, and mascara smudges no longer stained her face.

"I thought I'd take you down to the station and get your statement. Sound alright to you?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you need." Alex allowed Elliot to lead her to the car and they drove the few miles in silence. Elliot tried to start some polite conversation, but he wasn't really sure what to say, and he was pretty sure Alex wasn't interested anyway.

Alex sighed, staring out the window. She wished the radio was on, or for it to start raining. Anything to distract her from the silence of the car ride. She jumped when Elliot gently touched her shoulder. "Alex!"

"Sorry," she muttered as she unbuckled her belt and climbed out of the car.

"It's okay. I've only been standing here for five minutes," Elliot said lightly.

"Sorry," she apologized again and followed Elliot into the building.

"Do you want coffee, tea, anything?" He asked.

"Coffee's fine, thanks," Alex quickly led herself upstairs, and sat down at a table. She looked down and watched as the detectives continued their work.

"Here," Elliot set a Styrofoam cup in front of her and then sat across from her with a yellow legal pad. He opened a pen and jotted down the date before taking a sip of his coffee. He sat patiently, knowing she'd talk when she was ready.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: sigh I'm SO tired, I know this isn't my best, but let me know what you think anyway!


	4. Chapter Three

A/N: Here's the next chapter: hope you like. Thanks to everyone who reviewed…

Ficfan: Alex and Olivia don't really have a history. I'm just one of the many Alex/Olivia shippers out there…

Volleychick14: The main reason I had Alex ask for someone other than Olivia is because of the fact that I'm an Alex/Olivia shipper and I just had it in my head that Alex wouldn't want Olivia to worry about her… That kind of thing. (Does that make sense? Sometimes I do things that make sense to me but not to everyone else).

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Alex, when she was sure she couldn't stall anymore, took a long drink of her coffee. "His name's Michael. Michael Peterson. 36, from Phoenix. He was the guy I was talking to when you and Liv were in my office earlier. He said he was on town in business, and he wanted to see how I was getting along."

"Was this odd? Had you talked to him since graduation?" Elliot inquired, trying to get a background on this guy. She knew the perp; she had practically given Elliot a slam-dunk. Fin would have him arrested before midnight. Usually, it was the other way around; the attorney counted on his detective skills to get her an easy case.

"No. I mean I hadn't talked to him. But it wasn't weird that he called," she paused her story, staring at the steam rising from her cup. "We met at that Italian restaurant on Pearce. It's kind of out of the way, but that's what I like about it. It's quiet. We ate and talked. He bored me to tears. I had a drink just to make it through dinner. I needed another one to get through dessert. With a few shots of vodka, he really is pretty good company," she muttered. She saw Olivia on the staircase, inching her way closer.

"Anyway, since I had been drinking, we took a cab back to my place. Then he apologized for monopolizing the conversation at dinner and insisted that he come up to hear what I've been up to since high school. He even had a bottle of wine," Alex shook her head, "He knew stuff. I didn't think about it at the time, if I hadn't been drinking…"

"Alex, it's not your fault," Elliot said automatically. He looked up as Olivia finally made it over and sat next to Alex, "What kind of 'stuff' did he know?"

"Um, he had been touching my leg all night. Inching closer so that he was practically sitting on top of me, that kind of thing. I just needed a few minutes away from him, so I told him I had to use the bathroom. I started for my bedroom and I told him I'd be out in a few minutes. I don't think I've ever used the main bathroom. I always use the one in my room," she explained.

"Alex, you don't have to justify your actions tonight," Olivia said softly, brushing stray hairs out of Alex's face and tucking them behind her ear.

Alex flinched, "Don't." Olivia mumbled an apology and Alex continued, "When I came out of the bathroom a couple minutes later, something was wrong-it felt different, you know? It took me a second to figure it out," she shook her head, "Just a second too long. He grabbed me and threw me against the wall, pinning me there. I hit my head. Not too hard, but hard enough. I think it was the shock, but it stunned me enough that I didn't fight back right away. He picked me up and put me on my bed."

"Do you remember what time this all was?" Elliot asked.

"Um," Alex closed her eyes for a minute, "Around 10:15," Alex paused long enough for Elliot to write that down before continuing, "I don't really know what was going through my mind. This isn't going to make sense, but it's… when he started undressing me, my mind wasn't processing it, you know? It seemed like it was taking hours. He kept trying to kiss me, and his hands were everywhere. I tried to push him off me, but I couldn't… Finally, he got sick of fighting with me, he grabbed my hands and pinned them above my head with one of his," Alex shrugged. "I looked at the clock this time, right before… It was 10:25. He was done by 10:29. Four minutes. You know, you can't even get coffee at Starbucks in four minutes. In New York, you can't drive 4 blocks in four minutes," the blonde shook her head, "Four fucking minutes," she repeated softly.

Both detectives were silent for a minute, "What hotel was this guy staying at?" Olivia asked, standing up.

"He wasn't in town on business," Alex finally managed, and Olivia sat back down.

"How do you know?" Elliot finally asked when Alex didn't offer any more information.

"He talked all through dinner, but some things didn't add up. I didn't think about it at the time, but I've been thinking about it and I know he planned this! Every minute of this night was planned out."

"Thanks, Alex. You did good tonight," Elliot said softly. "Why don't you get some rest-you can steal a cot in the crib if you don't want to go home. CSU won't be done by now anyway."

"I have an extra bed at my place," Olivia offered, knowing Alex probably wouldn't want to be alone..

"No, you don't," Alex said, "I'll be okay."

"I have a couch, and I can sleep on that," Olivia grinned, "I like the couch better anyway."

"No. It's okay. I'm not sure I'd be able to sleep anyway." Alex stood up and walked downstairs in a slow daze.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: Well, another chapter finished! Stay tuned for the next installment! And reviews make me write faster (hint, hint).


	5. Chapter Four

A/N: Wow… It's been a while. Thank you soooo much for all the reviews. I really haven't been motivated to write much in the past year or so… So much work, between my jobs, school, etc… I am an orientation leader for incoming freshman at school, and after sitting through a presentation on date rape, I found some motivation to work on this… Let me know what you think—I'm sure I'm a little rusty, I don't think I've written anything in at least a year.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Liv, what are you doing here?" Alex opened the door and leaned against it. Her blonde hair was pulled into a messy bun and she was wearing a long sleeved shirt with shorts.

"I just came to see what you were up to today."

"Cleaning. They left this place a mess. There's fingerprint powder everywhere," the attorney moved to the side and Olivia stepped inside. She noticed a blue bucket filled with soapy water on the floor. Alex carried the bucket to the living room, sat on the couch, pulled a sponge from the bucket and started wiping the table. Olivia, after following Alex to the living room, grabbed a second sponge to help her friend.

"Thanks," Alex said, "But you don't have to help."

"How are you doing?" Olivia asked.

"Fine," Alex stood up and dropped the soiled sponge into the bucket, "Hey, are you hungry? I can cook something for lunch," She offered, changing the subject.

"No, I'm okay, thanks though," Olivia smiled. "Alex, how are you? Really?"

Alex sighed as she sat on the couch once again, avoiding eye contact with Olivia, "I can't work… I can't eat… I can't sleep… I haven't slept since. I just- I close my eyes and I can see him looking down at me. Or I'll be almost asleep and I can feel him, on top of me and I can't breathe." Alex looked up.

"Come on," Olivia stood up and held her hand out for her friend, "We need to get you out of here. I'll take you to my place—We'll get some food, you can sleep. I promise, a few hours of sleep will really make a difference. You need a break; physically and emotionally."

Alex nodded, "Yeah, okay… Just let me get some stuff…" Olivia watched as Alex gathered a few necessities, stuffing them in an overnight bag. "Okay, let's go."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Alex, from her position on the couch, let out a little sigh. Olivia looked up from her book and watched as the blonde fought to keep her eyes open. Olivia set the book down and sat on the coffee table next to Alex.

"Why don't you try to sleep?" she prompted gently. Alex nodded obediently and closed her eyes. Olivia watched her chest rise and fall with her steady breathing. She carefully grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and draped it over Alex's still form. She stood up to leave and Alex spoke, her eyes still closed.

"In all the time I've worked for SVU, I've never really understood it, you know?" She finally looked up at Olivia, her ice blue eyes filled with tears. Olivia nodded but didn't speak. "I just- I never realized how -difficult- it really was for the- the…"

"Victim?" Olivia provided softly.

"Yeah. I mean, it's hard to explain… I have so much going through my mind right now, it's- there are so many emotions, I don't know which one to feel. I feel betrayed… I didn't really know him _that _well, but I trusted him. And I feel like it was my fault. And then I feel stupid, for lack of a better word, I feel like I should know better than to get myself in a situation like that. And I'm scared. I could be pregnant… Or he could have AIDS or god knows what else. And I feel like a hypocrite, because I'm going to have to sit in that courtroom in front of him, and a judge and a jury and I'm going to have to relive it… And I don't think I can." Alex curled into a ball and let out a defeated sigh, "I just- I feel like horrible person. I've tried cases and I've never thought twice about putting a victim on the stand. I've always been able to talk them into testifying and-"

"Alex, honey, I promise, you can do this. I'll even sit in the front row… And Elliot will be there too. Just talk to us."

"I don't know how to do this… I don't know how to be the victim."

"So don't be a victim," Olivia said firmly, "be a survivor. Alex, he _raped_ you. You know that rape is all about power and control. He _took_ this from you." Olivia reached out, stroking Alex's cheek gently, "This is your chance to take it back. I know you're scared, Alex. But your fear is what he thrives on. He _wants_ you to be afraid of him; he _needs_ you to be afraid."

Alex took a deep breath and nodded, "Thank you," she said softly.

Olivia smiled, "You're welcome. Now you need to get some sleep. Right now…"

"I'll try," Alex promised, closing her eyes. With the detective watching over her, she slipped into a fitful sleep.


End file.
